Overpromising in Love and Business: The Danger of Setting Expectations Too High

Let’s talk about the second type of “salespeople” in relationships—the over-sellers and over-promisers. You know the type. They come into a relationship, friendship, or even family dynamic with this big energy, talking about themselves like they’re the ultimate solution to every problem you’ve ever had.

They’ll say things like, “Stick with me, and your life will be amazing. I’ll make everything better. You’ll be happier, more successful—just wait and see.” And they go all in, selling this vision of how perfect everything will be if you just stay with them. The flip side? They also push this idea that if you don’t stick around, your life will fall apart. They’ll say, “You won’t find anyone else who knows you like I do. I’m the only one who can fix things for you.”

This happens a lot when relationships are on the verge of breaking down. Suddenly, all these over-promises come flying out as a last-ditch effort to hold on. It’s like, “Look at everything we’ve been through together! Thanks to me, you’re where you are today. How can you just leave? How dare you not appreciate everything I’ve done for you?”

And honestly, it’s such a toxic way of dealing with breakups. But when you think about it, it all ties back to that same over-selling behavior. These are the people who try to convince others they’re the answer to every problem, and when reality doesn’t match the pitch, everything crumbles.

It’s a classic marketing mistake, right? You over-promise what your product can do, and when the customer finally uses it, they’re disappointed. And that’s exactly what happens in these relationships. At the start, it’s all big talk and bold promises, but when things get serious, the reality doesn’t measure up.

This is especially common in romantic relationships, where one partner (often the guy, but not always) promises the world to the other. They’ll say, “I’ll be there for you, I’ll give you everything you need, I’ll always make you happy.” But when it comes down to actually living up to those promises? It doesn’t happen.

Why? Because over-promisers forget that real life isn’t as easy as words. They think, If I can imagine it, I can do it. But the truth is, most of us can’t even consistently meet our own expectations for ourselves, let alone someone else’s. So, how can we promise to be everything another person needs when we’re still figuring out how to take care of ourselves?

That’s where the heartbreak comes in. When someone builds you up with all these big promises and then can’t deliver, it’s devastating. It creates this deep sense of disappointment that’s hard to recover from.

So, whether it’s relationships or life in general, over-promising is dangerous. It’s better to be honest about what you can offer and grow from there, rather than setting up expectations you can’t possibly meet. Because trust me, the damage from broken promises is way harder to fix than just being real from the start.