Desperation Doesn’t Sell: Why Begging for Love (or Sales) Backfires

Now, let’s talk about the third type of “sellers” in relationships. These are the ones who get so attached to their partner or crush that they’re practically begging to be loved. You know the kind I’m talking about—they’ll say things like, “Please don’t leave me. Please stay. I’ll be lost without you. I’ll suffer so much if you don’t want me. I don’t deserve this—just give me a chance.”

It’s like they’ve convinced themselves that their entire existence depends on the other person accepting them. And honestly, it’s heartbreaking, but also kind of overwhelming, right?

These people remind me of certain sellers you might encounter in business. You know, the ones who are so desperate to make a sale that they beg you to buy their product. They’ll say things like, “If you don’t buy this, I’ll be in so much trouble. My family depends on this sale. My kids depend on this. Please, help me out.”

And while their desperation might tug at your heartstrings for a moment, it’s also uncomfortable. It puts you in this weird spot where you feel guilty—not because you actually want or need what they’re selling, but because they’ve pressured you into feeling that way.

This same kind of guilt-forcing happens in relationships, and it’s not a good look. When you make someone feel responsible for your happiness or wellbeing, you’re not building a healthy connection. You’re creating something based on guilt, and guilt is not sustainable.

Here’s the thing: empathy is a beautiful, natural thing—but it has to come genuinely from the other person. If you force someone to feel empathetic toward you, it might work for a little while, but eventually, it wears off. And worse, it can backfire. The person might start to resent you for manipulating their feelings. They might even stop trusting their own empathy when it comes to you because it feels more like a chore than something authentic.

The same applies to sales. If you show people that you’re desperately desperate for them to buy something, it’s off-putting. People want to buy because a product benefits them—not because they feel obligated to help you. Imagine if everyone bought things just to make the seller feel better—we’d all be broke!

It’s no different in relationships. Forcing someone to feel responsible for your happiness doesn’t create love or trust—it creates tension and discomfort. And that discomfort has long-term consequences. Eventually, people pull away because they can’t carry that emotional weight forever.

So whether it’s sales or relationships, desperation isn’t the way to go. Show people the value of having you in their life—or of what you’re offering—and let them choose freely. Because real connections, just like real sales, come from genuine understanding and mutual benefit—not guilt.